8/17/2012

According to Sonja Lyubomirsy, one of the world's leading researchers on happiness, if you want to develop lifelong satisfaction,

1. Regularly engage in positive thinking about yourself.
2. Share your happiest events with others.
3. Savor every positive experience in your life.

8/14/2012

I randomly encountered this church through which i got to go to a retreat.

How i encountered the church was that i was supposed to go to my friend's church. So when i got to the Canal 4 near which my friend tole me where his church is at. When i got to the Canal 4 and called him, he said he can't make it to the church that day then my phone died so i couldn't get the exact direction to his church. So i was looking around Canal 4 to find a church nearby. Then i found one which later i found out is not his. But anyways, through this random encountering, i got to be part of this great church retreat!

We took a trip to this place where the jungle is but we didn't go to the jungle. However, the scenery was wonderful and i had a good time getting to know people and learning about God.

We played LOTS AND LOTS of group games. There were about 40 people who went and we were divided into three groups. A lot of the games were physical activities so my body hurt. haha. However, group games are great way to learn about how teamwork works because we all have different personalities and gifts and we have to figure out how to utilize them to make the best of the teamwork. If one fails the whole group fails. Sometimes, my personality resists working with a group just because i tend to think inside but through group activities i learn to understand about how i can fit myself into the group so that we can all succeed. 

The best part of the retreat was the talk i had with a pastor. The pastor is living in the U.S. doing ministries for the immigrants. It was great that he spoke English because we were able to have a full conversation. I told him about my concerns about life and he provided me with such profound and wise answers. He made me humble about myself because of good work he is doing. He asked me to pray for the immigrant families because they are facing a lot of hardship as the U.S. government is not in favor of the immigrant policies. Also, he asked me to pray for the next U.S. president election that he will have compassion for the people who are oppressed. I am always awed by people who work toward the welfare of others, so selflessly. I was humbled again because i so often do not think about others and only very concerned about what happens to my life. Also, as i confided in him about my relationships with boys- how things do not go the way i wanted often times- he advised me to set up a clear boundaries with them (this includes emotional boundaries). He said as i have come to the U.S. at such an early age that i can be very vulnerable- that i can easily rely on others for emotional needs, whether i am conscious of this or not. And that only God is the one who can support me with all the emotional needs that i need. Sometimes i don't know my motivation behind my actions. I don't know why but this clearly spoke to me and i made up my mind that i will be consciously be aware of my actions especially toward guys and set up a clear boundary. I know it is going to be hard but my effort and placing my head and goal in the right place will certainly get me somewhere. Lastly, he told me i should be thankful. I should be thankful because many people want to be in my position. I am very lucky to have my parents who pay for my tuition and let me study abroad.

Though it was a short conversation i had with the pastor, it made me think deeply about myself and reflect once again how i should live my life.

8/02/2012

7/29/2012

Haha i found this funny while i was listening to a sermon.

We often try to change others especially in a dating relationship. We hope that when things do not work out in a romantic relationship and we try to 'fix' our partners. We often try to 'change' others, have positive influence in others in the hope that others might change. And the pastor asked

"since when did you become the Holy Spirit?"

lol

7/29/2012

I told myself today. No more!

Being self-controlled is really hard at times. But sometimes, you just gotta be harsh with yourself and make a decision. That's how i felt today, and i promised myself that i won't do the things that make me feel bad. I gotta spend my thoughts and feelings on things that are worthwhile.

7/28/2012

I went to a women's bible study group yesterday. These women are so funny! They remind me of women from Desperate Houswives haha. Anyways, we had a guest, a missionary from California, who is the director of Global Children's Movement (her name is Jennifer Toledo). She shared her fasinating story with us- her testimony and how she got involved in this world-wide ministry- and I was shocked by what i was hearing. She shared her story of how at the age of 21 (which was about 11 years ago) she went to northern part of Kenya just because she felt she was called to do. There she met absolutely heart-breaking children who were the victims of war and poverty. For example, the first children she met along her long journey was those with broken fingers gorged with blood, because these children were digging the ground in the deseart just to find some water. They were hopeless after many failures of not being able to find water, they jumpted in front of the car she was in, in an attempt to kill themselves. This is absolutely ridiculous.
Like many missionaries who are called to places they don't expect at all, she also felt inadequate and just wanted to go home, feeling hopeless. But because she had faith that God can do great things and it is all about him not about her, she remained where she was and with prayers she saw many fruits in the lives of children and the nation. The miracles are just ... i mean did i believe what i was hearing? I know Jennifer's family and none of her side of the family and that of her husband's have red hair and all her three children are red-haired (and the color red is recessive allele!). I mean, this is a miracle from God that i see with my eyes. They kids are absolutely beautiful.
Though i doubt till now some things about christianity (mostly doctrines), there are things, i just can't help but attibute to God. that he is powerful and that somehow blessings go to those who love and obey God.
The message from Jennifer was whether we feel inadequate in front of obstacles we were standing, and if we do, whether we believe in what God says about us.

7/26/2012

People- or rather, people's stories- really fascinate me. I mean really FASCINATE me.

I forgot which book, but i remember reading somewhere in one of C.S. Lewis's book that says "we do not know who we are dealing with (when we meet people). They are divine creatures- created in the image of God". When i really think about this line... it is a pretty scary thought. If people who claim themselves to be Christians yet disrespect any human being- of all backgrounds, whether poor or rich, ugly or pretty and etc- i would question whether they are what they claim themselves to be they are. I think it's when we feel pride, we disregard others (we think we are better than others many times, eh?). I am still questioning many things in Christianity, but there are just some things about Christianity that are revolutionizing. Anyways, not just what it says in the Bible about treating others with absolute dignity, but also people whom i admire in life are those who consider others above themselves. My absolute favorite quote is by Abraham Lincoln that says "i don't like that man. I must get to know him better".  A lesson that is hard to take for everybody including myself, but i read all the biographies of people i admire, and they give out the same message. 

It's hard for me to listen to the voice of others whom i don't like... for whatever reason. But when i think of what i just wrote above, i fight myself and try to listen to what EVERYONE has to say. The kind of people whom i cannot stand are those who lie, to the point that i just don't wanna deal with them. Recently, a girl asked me to hang out but she has lied to be before and i was just done with her that time she lied. But i wonder if i am missing out on people's stories- her story- that if i don't give her a chance i would never know where she comes from, why she acts the way she does. If i just listen to people whom i like... i probably won't understand much about the world which is made up of stories of people.  When i think of this, i just give into my discomfort and be more open-minded. It's hard but i think in the end it's worth it. ALL people have interesting stories and i want to hear. I don't have to like them to appreciate their stories because all stories are worth hearing to. 

7/16/2012

I haven't written much since i got here in Quito, Ecuador.

I haven't been doing much in terms of traveling, but spending time with my friends and meeting new people.

I have finally settled in one church, which is small, but where i thought i could serve God. Thankfully, there will be missionaries coming from the U.S. and Canada who will be here from tomorrow, the 17th till the 30th of July. I am thrilled to work with them in the places where people are neglected. This is just a perfect timing. Thank you, God. The person leading a group published a book, which i am reading currently, and this book is very exciting as it kind of talks about what i want to know. I think as much as it was in Cuzco, my time in Quito will also be a time where i will learn about myself and God. 

7/01/2012

Went to my friend's sister's graduation party @ Hyatt Hotel. Wow it was quite fancy, all the students wearing gowns. Anyways, we got there @ 7pm, dinner being served at 10pm (lol) and dancing till 4am! All the parents were there and i was just surprised how much they enjoy dancing no matter how old they are (& they are pretty good!). And i like how all the guys know how to dance heh  I was so ready to go home by the time the dance was over... but i saw that we were stopping somewhere and i was like, "where are we?" and my friend says we are having a meal! I was dumbfounded. It was almost 5:30am After a meal, we finally get home and i hear birds chirping...LOL I just laughed. This was def. a fun, cultural experience for me.

6/28/2012

It's been a week since i arrived in Quito, Ecuador.
It surprises be (btw) that not many people in Cuzco knew where Quito was. I remember my host mom commenting "you are going to Columbia?" haha Oh well, i would just assume that all the people in South America know where all the countries in S.A. are but now i think of it, it's not like i knew many of the countries in the vicinity of my country, Korea.
Anyways, I was excited to come to Quito, but my heart was still in Cuzco. My flight was at around 7 in the morning and i didn't sleep until 4 am.. (Of course i didn't see why i should pack earlier than the day before or even the day i leave lol). Even though i knew i had to pack, i still wanted to spend time with my wonderful friends and my host family's daughter, Katherine. I talked to Katherine until 2am and started packing then. I woke up for my flight and my host mom prepared breakfast for me with fresh fruits... and when she and the daughter hugged me to say good-bye... i started balling my eyes out. Sometimes, you don't really need to know why you are crying and let your emotions be.

Now i am in Quito, and i STILL miss Cuzco. It's not the nice places i have gone to, but it's people that i miss. I thank God for such precious memories these people created for me. I really hope and pray that someday i will meet some of these people. SOON!
It was hard for me at first to be joyful in Quito, because i still missed people in Cuzco. However, thanks to my friend (with whom i am staying in Quito), i was able to cheer up as he took me to places such as beach and shopping malls. He is such a good friend of mine who was an exchange student in my freshman year. We lived in the same dorm and took the same class together. We took the same philosophy class which he very enjoyed while i didn't. It's funny though because he is studying computer science and i psychology and this course was just something we took it for fun, not related at all to our majors. He still enjoys philosophy and continues to take some courses (well, he just graduated) here in Quito. Anyways, i am very grateful to have him as a friend because he really cares for me as a friend.

If it wasn't for my friends here in a remote land, i think i might have felt really lonely, even though i don't want to admit that. My friend's family is wonderful and i really feel a genuine love from this family. I am happy and glad to be here in Quito, Ecuador and i hope that i would continue to be open-minded and challenge myself.

Just received emails about updates of how my friends in the U.S. are doing and feels happy to know they are doing great! Even though we are all far apart, we are walking side by side, encouraging each other in our journey.

6/11/2012

There are two other students from the U.S. living with us and I already like them so much! One is from California wanting to become a veterinarian and the other girl from Minnesota who is already an elementary school teacher. I guess I kind of missed speaking English and actually conversing because I have been trying very hard each day (before I met these girls) trying to even get my message across with the locals. I know that I intentionally chose to live with a host family so that I can learn Spanish faster (vs. living with other volunteers) but there were times I felt a bit tired because my message wouldn’t get across as I intended to. Well, duh, I should have expected this but I didn’t know how emotionally tiring this could be. Anyways for the past two day I hung out with these two girls, and not only do they speak English but also their personalities are very chill and fun. I once thought I could live anywhere else even without knowing the language and I am so wrong. I don’t think I can live in places where they don’t speak the languages that I speak.

There is one time I felt sad because I felt like I wasn’t being understood. Last Friday, I asked the girls who are also interns at the hospital to hang out. They were very nice because they bought me dinner. Anyways, they speak very little English and I speak very little Spanish and so at times it was very difficult to make conversations. There were many things I wanted to say to these girls (and of course I spoke Spanish to the best of my abilities). Sometimes I feel bad because I see in their face that they are also trying very hard to understand me haha.

But, because of these Peruvian friends I have here, I have more motivation to learn Spanish.

I thank both for Peruvian and American friends here… J

5/31/2012

We took all of our patients to Sacsayhuamán for a walk. It took quite a long time to get them prepared to go out (some weren’t just listening..). Sacsayhuamán is one of the beautiful places to visit in Cuzco and I was lucky to go there without transportation fee and entrance fee. More than that, I was excited that we were taking patients for a fresh air and for a beautiful scenery. Also, I was happy that there were five interns who came with us and later we got to know each other well.

It was a beautiful day and on the bus we all tried to get the patients excited for the trip. Though we couldn’t really get much response from them, I knew that they were happy.

We finally got to the place… and it was SO SO gorgeous! I wish I brought a camera with me, but clumsy me, I was in a rush this morning and I forgot to bring it L

I am not sure, but whenever I see aged people I feel so close to them. There was a patient who is very aged (I think between 80 and 90 yrs old) and he was very short and with a hat he was wearing he was very cute (I know ‘cute’ isn’t really the right word to describe an old man but… I think those who are fond of old people should know what I mean) and I just wanted to stand beside him all the time. He was constantly saying things to himself (or to me) and I had no idea what he was saying. But anyways, after taking a good view of Sacsayhuamán, we had lunch together. After that, we played some sports… well we didn’t really play ‘play sports’ but get some patients kick some balls around. Aw, the old man I was with throughout the whole trip was just standing on the grass as if his feet were glued to the grass and when the ball came to him he kicked as hard as he could. It was the first time I would see him look  very energized because the ball would fly really far away. I would see a big grin on his face as if he just won a trophy. Haha. Aw…. Grandpa. I actually saw a lot of smiles and heard bountiful of laughs among the patients and then I thought maybe they need to get out more and kick some balls.

 

Cute grandpapito, Vicent! 

5/29/2012

After finally getting over with my high altitude sickness, I got a stomach problem (great). I feel like having a stomach issue is sometimes worse than having a headache. Or I am right now being biased because I am having a stomachache right now. I feel bad the most when I can’t enjoy what my host family prepared for me for lunch. They always want me to eat a lot and their food is very delicious! But, mann… when you have a stomachache…. you really have a hard time swallowing food. It’s almost like forcing food through your throat. My family noticed that I wasn’t feeling well and kept asking me if I was doing okay. I said I am fine because I thought my stomach problem will go away within a few days. My eyes started to feel heavy because they were genuinely worrying about me and I felt like I was making them worry. I felt sad because as much as I wanted to enjoy their company, my body wasn’t just allowing me to.

 I was very surprised at myself or at my body for how slowly it was being adapted to the environment here. I have been to Philippines in areas where you see people living in absolute poverty and I was there for 2 weeks and I was fine! What’s wrong with me here in Cuzco??!  As my body got weak, I just lost appetite and especially today I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to get it over with my work and go into my room and rest.

But, instead of going into my room and getting some rest, I went outside to use the internet. I wanted to use time as productively as I can. This Friday, I am inviting my friends (the interns I met at the hospital) over to my house to have some desserts and play some games. I have gotten to know these girls fairly well and they are so sweet! Love to get to know them. So I went to an internet room to search for some recipes. After that, I came back home and watched some movies. Still not feeling well.

Then at 7pm I went to my friend’s place for a small group. He is actually the one whom I went to church with. There I got to meet some wonderful people and also two people from Colorado. Anyways, we had a good worship time (even though I had to pay very very careful attention to understand the message in Spanish) and when it was time for prayer, my friend (who was a group leader) asked if any of us needs a prayer for healing. I didn’t want to ask but my friend was looking at me (I don’t know why) and I said “why not?”. I didn’t want to ask for a prayer because I was too prideful. I thought I could control the health of my body as long as I take a very good care of it. But I don’t know why, the next moment I was on my two feet with my friends praying over me.  I don’t know why but tears started falling down on my cheeks. I have been in a physical discomfort for a long time. I didn’t know why I was crying but… sometimes you don’t need to know.

God spoke to me through these friends (after prayer) and things that these friends were saying were just caught me off guard… and after I went home I spent hours pondering over these questions.

God answered our prayer and today I am feeling completely fine (God, sorry that I relied on my own strength) I  have no stomachache and now I am full of energy. My goodness….. I thanked God for my health as I was having breakfast. It was a pleasant surprise. How happy I felt today! I even walked to my worksite as my body was allowing me to do (It takes about 30 minute walk to get to the hospital).

3/28/2012

One of the things that is so great about living with my host family is that you meet other local people through connection. Because I was searching for a church to go to on Sunday, my host mom introduced me to her godson who now is a protestant. He is of my age (what a bonus!) and he speaks very good English; he studied in Australia for a year.  I took a taxi to his place and he and I took a combi to a church together, which I never took it alone before because it always looked crowded and I didn’t know how to take it; it was a fun experience. I was about to sweat inside the combi coz it was cramped inside.

After the church service, he showed me around the center of Cuzco. He was explaining to me all the best places in the area and we stopped by a couple of places. Not surprisingly, though, the nice places looked very much like European style because they attracting the tourists. The first place we went inside was an ice cream place. It looked very cute! I ordered mango ice cream in a cupcake shape and it tasted so fresh! And then I also ordered a traditional Peruvian dessert called el pie de limón and it had an interesting texture to it. The top part of the pie was made out of an egg white and it was fluffy and the bottom part key lime. I realized desserts in Cuzco are much less sweet than the ones in America, which is nice. I have had some interesting desserts in Cuzco such as a baked apple, caramel flan and some kind of fruit salad which are all so yummy!

After an ice cream place, we were keep walking and he was explaining. I think he felt comfortable with me because he started joking around… A LOT! He is such a funny guy. We laughed a lot as we were walking. Then he invited me to his home to have lunch because he said we can cook together. His house is pretty big (later, I heard from my host family that his family is very rich) and has a lot of fun stuff all around the world. Anyways, he looked so confident that I thought he was going to cook himself but he told me he has never cooked before. Haha.  We cooked some simple pasta (well, sort of…because we didn’t have any pasta sauce) with some sort of Peruvian seasonings. But, anyways, we had so much fun cooking together because he was keep making jokes and telling all these fun stories. I also got to hear his testimony -how he was changed by God and it was sweat to hear how he was in the past and since been growing.

Then later at around dinner time, Cataline joined us to hang out. Cataline and he were childhood friends and when they are together they are like ‘hermanos’ He crakes more jokes on Cataline and he was like a mischievous boy (in a funny, good way J) Cataline made pizza for us and she is a very good cook. But since he and I had lunch very late (we finished our lunch at 5pm!) we couldn’t finish our pizza. After dinner, we went to the living room and watched some TV and played some game.

I had a very good time with them and I am glad I met him. He is very sweet and lots of fun. 

I am not sure if it’s a cultural thing… but these people know how to have fun. He barely knows me! I was out my house at 10:30 am and got back home almost at around 12am haha. I was tired but had a great time J

I needed this.

5/27/2012

There are two other girls from California living with us in the same house. Because it was their last day staying in Cuzco, we all (with Cataline, too) went out to a bar to hang out. They said they ran across two band members in the plaza and were invited to this bar where the performance is going to be held. Anyways, I had so much fun with these girls. One girl got really drunk and made a scene and of course because we were foreigners we were quite a spotlight.

The next day, I got sick. I think I got a cold or something. I started having fevers and a headache. I haven’t gotten sick in a very long time so it must be the combination of a cold weather,  dirt and high altitude that finally got me. Today I am feeling a little bit better as I am writing my journal but yesterday I’ve never felt that sick in a very long time. I think when you are sick, you start to miss home the most and that’s how I felt. Because I didn’t want to bother my host family with my sickness I just went to my room to sleep, hoping that I would feel better the next day. But, wow it was really cold in my room and sometimes wearing leg warmers, a sweater and a hat do not suffice to ward off the cold in Cuzco. L

It’s been a week since I arrived in Cuzco. I have been volunteering at a mental hospital and there I got to meet other wonderful interns . What I’ve been doing after the first day of working as sort of like a receptionist was visiting patients with schizophrenia, epilepsy, autism and just help them engage in work that psychologists want them to do such as drawing, doing puzzle and so on. They all live in the hospital but in an isolated area (you need a key to open the door to visit them). The place they live in, I feel like, is sort of like a prison because I peeked at their rooms and it’s dark and the bed doesn’t look that cozy. But, the patients are wonderful; they are happy to see me and one patient, for example, who cannot speak was showing me the paintings that previous volunteers drew. Of course, I couldn’t understand a single word of what he was saying but I was happy that he was happy to show me around. Also, there was one girl (women and men stay in two separate places) who was very good at speaking English. Whenever I pass by her she would talk to me in very fluent English. I thought she was working for the hospital but when she started talking to me- how she hates being in this confined area with other patients- then I knew she had a story. She was telling me how her parents put her in the hospital because they thought she was schizophrenic, even though she doesn’t believe that she is. I think this is tragic because I wonder how i would feel if my parents told me that I have some kind of mental illness when I think I am okay? I later shared this with my host parents and they said probably the parents know about  their child. Then I asked her how she learned her English and she said she lived in New Jersey before (no wonder). At first, I was thinking how come when I tried speaking in Spanish to her she never replied back in Spanish, and now I think I know but then again i could be wrong so I would rather not write here.  She is one of the patients that stood out to me the most because she was very friendly to me. I hope that we get to know her more.

I was thinking.. how gloomy the patients would feel living in the condition that they are in. Even though they are labeled as whatever mental illness that they have, their emotions aren’t dead. They know how to appreciate when for example I show a simple act of saying hi to them. They aren’t different than I am. They want to be recognized as fully, dignified human beings  just as much as everyone does. We have a capacity to love and I think it is continuous love and care from the psychologists, interns and whoever is working there that make a difference in patients’ lives.  What am I taking away from these experiences? I have been recently thinking about going to a grad school right after my undergrad.. just a thought.

5/22/2012

Inside el hospital de solidalidad

The first day of working in the mental hospital!

I took a taxi to the hospital but unfortunately the driver was dishonest with the fine. He charged me twice as much as what it should have cost. I wanted to argue with him, but I just couldn’t in Spanish. Usually it costs 3 soles (US$1) during the day but he asked me to give him 7 soles. 7 soles is still cheap but i shouldn´t be treated unfairly. Anyways, I will just have to make sure that I ask how much it costs before I get in.

When I got to the hospital, there were people (whom I later got to work with) at the door asking me in Spanish if I have an appointment, which doctor I need to see and !@#$%^&.. I was just supposed to go see a psychologist (I wasn’t informed about his name) so those people (I guess at the receptionist) wouldn’t let me pass by. I tried my best to explain in Spanish that I am supposed to see a psychologist of whom I don’t know the name and !@#$%^ my Spanish was very horrible. Hahaha. Those girls were probably like “what is she saying” lol.

Anyways, I think they took a pity on me (probably they saw the desperation in my facial expression) and let me pass by. The psychologist was very busy seeing his patients in a room, and when I went to see him he asked one of those girls at the door to take me on a tour, explaining how the hospital (in the division of psychiatry) is functioning.

Today, I basically stood with her at the door as a receptionist, greeting and talking to patients who come in. It was a bit frustrating because I couldn’t understand much of what she was saying. Also, because I didn’t have breakfast, i started to feel dizzy. But anyways, she was very kind enough to explain again and again whatever questions that I had and I was thankful. She is an intern at the hospital in the hope of becoming a psychologist. She is of my age so I was able to relate myself a lot to her. I asked her what motivated her to study psychology and she said she loves helping people (she wants to work with kids) and listening to problems that people have. I think some people when you look at them you just see such warmth in them. I felt such genuinely caring heart from her (by looking at the way she talks to the patients and also to me). Because she and I were the only ones at the door, we got to talk a lot and share our stories together. She was extremely patient with my disastrous Spanish hahaha It’s like I have to think first in my head and say. I learned today the new word “enamorado” meaning boyfriend, but in a different sense. “Enamorado” is someone you are dating and “novio” is someone you would like to engage. And then, of course “esposo”-husband. The topic of boys is always popular among girls and with this we talked a lot. She has a boyfriend and I don’t so I got to bombard her with all those qts J

I tried to walk as much as I can in Cuzco and I have to say .. I was being stared a lot. Well, I guess this is normal. I have been called “chinita! (Chinese!)” and “Arigato!” but no Korean. Haha. They think I am Japanese and try to talk to me in Japanese. Apparently, there are a lot of Japanese, not a lot, but quite a number of people either traveling in Cuzco or doing some business.

However, walking was very tiring. Not only the air was bad but also because I was in high altitude, I would be out of breath at times. But, It was fun walking and seeing the neighborhoods (and so many dogs on the streets!! They don’t come to you. They are just strolling around…) and talk to people at times when I needed help with direction.

When I finally reached home (it took me 35 minutes) I was exhausted. My head was throbbing and my whole body felt just so tired. But my host family prepared me with such delicious food ( I asked the name and I heard something “zapatos” and thought it couldn’t be coz it means shoes lol). I ate choclo (corn) with beets and tomatos and later rice with some sort of soupy thingy. They were so delicious and my headache immediately disappeared. Just kidding. But, I certainly felt much better. And of course I drank a lot of coca tea which helps clear my head. I also learned that in South America, people usually eat heavy lunch (between 1 and 4pm) and eat very light dinner after 8pm. I felt really full because I usually don’t eat this much for lunch. I thought I was done with corn untill she brought me with another plate of rice and also dessert.

My host family has hosted many students (and there will be other two German students coming this Sunday!) and she was telling me a story of a girl who was very skinny when she came but gained 6killo when she left and how her parents didn’t recognize her. Haha. Man, I hope I wouldn’t be like her. But, the food she prepares is just so yummy.

Oh, I love this family. Even though my Spanish is not very good, they always patiently hear me what I have to say even though sometimes I don’t make any sense.lol.

Once a month, the ambulence brings in mentally-ill people living on the street..

Two interns & a psychiatrist. The one in blue jacket helped me A LOT adjusting to the environmet @ the hospital.

5/21/2012

We all the new volunteers and those who are in the language program went out for dinner at a rather fancy restaurant located in vicinity of Las Plazas de Armas. Because the restaurants lining the Plaza de Armas are geared toward tourists the food is a bit overpriced. There I tried “torta de tres de leche” a delicious dessert for the first time! I have heard of this dessert before and I’ve always wanted to try it. It looks like tiramisu but personally I think torta de tres de leche tastes better :9

 One thing that is so cool about traveling is that you meet other travelers. I love the idea of leaving a place of comfort and setting out for somewhere new and meeting people who are different from you. Most of volunteers were Americans but those who came to learn Spanish were from all over the world (from Germany, Australia, Canada , England and etcetera). At a restaurant, I talked a lot with those sitting beside me and hear their stories. I really love hearing other people journeys. There was one who was a volunteer like me and he is going to volunteer at an elementary school, teaching English. I thought I was the youngest among the group but I was wrong. He and other volunteers, I found out, are going to be in their second year in college. I am glad that they set out for a journey at such young age. As there were people who are students like me, there were also those who were taking a break from their jobs to travel. I got to hear some stories from a German guy (Thomas) who is taking a language course. He has worked in E.U. ,working in a committee that overlooks NGOs in developing countries, making assessments of what they need, how they are progressing and whether they are providing the needs that the locals need.  I asked him what his major was in undergrad and he said social sciences and said he didn’t learn much. So, he felt needed to get masters in European studies and I guess he found passion there working for E.U.  I had a very great time with people sitting around me at the dinner. They were keep cracking jokes and I felt immediately comfortable with them. They also heard my stories and I felt like they were genuinely interested in hearing my stories.

It’s sad that we are staying in Cuzco only for a short time (we just got to know each other!) and we have to go on our own separate ways. We meet wonderful people along the way, and we may or may not see them again in our lives. But, who knows, whether our lives will cross again? 

The first day I get here, my host family asks me if I want to try guinea pig dish (cuy relleno). I didn’t expect this request to come so fast haha

But, I was extremely tired so I had to skip lunch to take some rest. But, next time when we have a family outing I will try. I heard this guinea pig dish is very famous in highlands in Peru.

Finally in Cuzco!!

The plane ride was rather long..
I flew from Chicago to Florida then to Lima. In Lima, i had to stay for about 10 hours in the airport for the next flight  because i got there at night and there are no domestic flights flying at night.
Anyways, i finally got to Cuzco on 5/20 @ 8a.m and i was soooooo excited that i forgot to find my lugguage (on a belt). I got out of the airport and met a person with the sign with my name on it and he took me to my host family's house. Sara Nunez, my beutiful host mom, greeted me with a hug and a warm kiss on my cheek. I immediately loved her and her house is so beautiful. She asked me where my luggages were and then i realized i forgot my luggage!! I had to take a taxi to the airport again to get my stuff. The person who escorted me was laughing because he said i forgot mine coz i was too excited to care about my luggage. haha i just laughed with him.

Because Cuzco is located in high altitude, it was pretty cold. It's like it's expected to snow or something...
I am not very fond of cold weather. It was also pretty cold in the room where i would sleep because they don't have the heater and i would also have to take a cold shower. Anyways, i had to remind myself that i am not here to travel but to really immerse myself in the culture and the reality of Peruvian lives. I know there are people out there who don't even have the luxuries to even have a home. So really, no need to complain. I tried to focus on the positive side. Once again, the family is AMAZING and i was so so thankful that i got to stay with such a wonderful family while i am here in Cuzco.

I went with my host family to La Plaza de Armas to watch a festival which is held every sunday and my host family's daugher, Catelena, marched in the uniform. I already feel like she is my sister, actually my older sister even though she is younger, coz she welcomes me into her home so warmheartedly. Sara wanted to take me on a tour but i was so tired that i told her that i needed some rest.

My volunteering project starts today 5/21 at 2pm. I heard from a previous volunteer that my project is going to be tough, but everything will be alright..=)

The day before leaving for Peru & Ecuador

I am leaving so soon for Peru and Ecuador. The weird thing is, i am not feeling any excitement yet even though i am leaving tomorrow. I guess i have been just busy packing, packing and packing. Packing is very stressful because i have to make sure a several times that i am not missing anything. Also, you want to just get it done quick so that you can hang out with your friends.

I will be in Peru for 4 weeks, from May 19th till June19th. and i will be in Ecuador from June 19th till Dec 23rd. I will be in Cuzco as a volunteer (thr.UBELONG) working with mentally-ill adults in a mental health clinic and what i will be doing, as i understand so far, is help a local psychologist there with whatever he or she needs. I didn't think that this will be a challenge until my mentor and my friends who have worked at a mental hospital told me. I know now that i have to not only physically but also mentally prepare for ... 'surprises'..i guess. I am very excited for staying with the host family there, because i think that's the best way to get to know the culture and language. I am also excited for traveling alone to places in Cuzco. There a lot of advantages traveling in groups (you are for sure safer) but i also think there's such value in going to places alone (for example, you learn to be more independent?). One of  my favorite authors in Korea was a backpack traveler and she inspired me in many ways to be step out of my comfort zone. I have to keep in mind constantly that

1. Be in the attitude of learning.
2. Be open-minded (don't judge!)
3. Relax, relax and relax. Just enjoy.

After 4 weeks of volunteering in Cuzco, i will fly to Lima and take a flight there to Quito, Ecuador. I will be there in Quito 2 months earlier before my student-exchange program starts in mid-August. I will be staying at my friend's house, a friend who was an exchange student in my freshman year. I remember talking to him about me visiting him in Ecuador after i get a job and have some money to visit, but here i am. Really, who knows where life will take us?

I am going to Ecuador to study abroad. He wasn't the reason to study abroad, of course, but certainly he and another good friend of mine, raised my interest in choosing Ecuador for studying Spanish. I think if it wasn't for them, i would have studied abroad somewhere else. Friends do make a difference. But, now that i think of it, i think Ecuador is a good place to study abroad because i have always wanted to go to developing countries and also if i were to learn Spanish, go to central or south american countries to learn the language. Anyways, i am very excited to see my friends because i miss them. 

The Power of Introverts

I was listening to the talk on TED by Susan Cain, the New York times best selling author, who wrote a book called "The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. As an introvert myself, I was able to relate myself a lot to her and be encouraged.
First, i was wondering why this book became the best seller, and i think the reason is according to the book, a third to a half of the population in the U.S. are introverts and i am sure they were eager to hear to pep-talk as much as i am. We live in a world that values extroverted people and that sees introverted people as a misfit to a society.

We used to value people of strong moral character in the past, such as Abraham Lincoln and Rosa Parks, but now we value those of extroverted and confident people. One driving force behind this cultural revolution was urbanization. I really think that America is getting more and more individualistic to the point that there is almost no communal life. Even in churches, people just come and go, without saying hi to the person next to them. We also barely know our neighbors because we are too busy caring about ourselves in this busy, competitive world. I am sad to say that i am also accommodating to the current U.S. culture.

I have lived in the U.S. for quite a while (almost 9 years) and i have to say it is still my struggle to accommodate myself to American values. However, today i reflect this view again after hearing Susan's talk whether this is necessary. And i believe that i don't have to, and i shouldn't. I don't have to feel guilty about being an introvert even though when there's a group project and presentation i get nervous and have a hard time speaking in front of others, but i can always focus on the things that i am good at and think positively. But, i think that this will be a constant fight. I prefer much spending time alone or with a few close friends to going to a party with loud music. I have heard many many times that i should go more often to social gatherings and mingle with people, but i'd rather do these things when i want to. I am remember also my friends who have expressed their stress for having to adjust to the Culture of Personality. One friend of mine expressed that she feels tired and somewhat angered because other people expect her to talk and think she is an extrovert when she is not. I totally understand her and i think people should just be themselves, no matter what other people say. This is going to be a challenge, but life will be totally wasted if we try to live up for other people's expectation.

But, i have to say though... that i love extroverted people. I think extroverted people are fun in general and they are great at making conversations. However, i think introverted people should be recognized for their strength as well. Rosa Park was probably a "nobody" in her childhood but she was strong in her moral character like no other and she was driven by her such inner strength to stand up for things that matter a  lot to her. She didn't care whether people recognized her deeds because all she cared was whether she was following her beliefs and her conscience was clear.

The power of word

I was talking to two of my friends after graduation and we had a great talk. I haven't talk to one of them for a long time because both she and i had different commitments throughout the semester. Anyways, she told me that she was happy for me that i was going to South America and that this is a good choice for me.I don't know why but this was a huge encouragement for me. Both my parents and my family in Chicago weren't very supportive of me or rather they weren't very happy for me. I try not to care and do what makes me happy (even though i might not have a clear idea of what i am doing) but anyways, knowing that there are friends who are happy for me in whatever i do means a lot to me. She also shared how when she shared her faith with her dad, he wasn't very happy for her. What made her more sad was the fact that she feels so loved by her dad but not very understood by him about her faith, which now means a lot to her. I was able to relate myself to her. She is a beautiful girl and i pray that her dad comes to a better understanding of her faith. 

Revisiting my relationship w/ God

As my christian life matures, i see the reality of my sin very clearly and how i should live.

Also, i am aware that i shouldn't take religion so seriously. I am sure God doesn't want this from us either. He wants us to be FREE!

I learned from the book of theories of psychotherapy that we should change how we view ourselves and that our actions shouldn't be dictated by rules of 'should' and 'shouldn'ts'. Healthy people acknowledge their limitations and move on with life. Mentally healthy people also know what they are good at and what they are not and are more positive thinkers (in fact, there is a positive correlation between mental health and optimism). I have a friend who is simple-minded and moves on quickly when bad things happen. I would observe my friend and i think a key to move on quickly is to not take life so seriously. I am thankful for this friend of mine because i learned a lot from her. I also try to find something funny each day and enjoy life with people i love.

I know that i am not very forgiving to myself, as much as i want to. I have always been people-pleaser and so i am very sensitive to people's remark about me and also what i say to them. Not sure if i can change this? I think this is one of my traits, so i don't complain it. God sometimes uses this trait to serve his people. However, when my focus is on something else, this trait of mine gives me a hard time. I am clearly aware that i cannot please everyone. This would be crazy: i will never know what i want in life.

I have been thinking if there's a way i can be more self-controlled. Control my emotions and thoughts. But, life is just crazy with full of surprises (both good and bad), and i know i need help outside of me. I need wise advice of my friends, mentor and my family members who care about me. But, most importantly, I need God the most in my life.

So i was thinking.... that i have been lacking spending time with God. We are relational. Not sure why i don't turn to God when i feel like i need someone. I usually turn to my friends- a few friends- whom i trust. Well, actually i am not a very expressive person so it is hard for me to share. Why is it so hard to turn to God? I was thinking today and i think i know why. I am a very quality type of person (my # 1 love language) and i am more than willing to spend a quality time with  my friends because i love them. I have been pushing God aside and would give him only a little bit of my time. I think the reason i turn to my friends when i feel like i need someone is because the quality of my friendship is high.  But i think the quality of my relationship with God is right now relatively low. What if i spend time with God each day and talk to him like a friend (well he actually says he is our friend)? What will happen in the long run? I turn to the Bible today... after a long time of not touching it. I want to put God first in my life. I want to talk to God first, because i know he is wise, kind, loving, compassionate and forgiving. I am just like a mist and really nothing but God sees the best in me.