5/22/2012

Inside el hospital de solidalidad

The first day of working in the mental hospital!

I took a taxi to the hospital but unfortunately the driver was dishonest with the fine. He charged me twice as much as what it should have cost. I wanted to argue with him, but I just couldn’t in Spanish. Usually it costs 3 soles (US$1) during the day but he asked me to give him 7 soles. 7 soles is still cheap but i shouldn´t be treated unfairly. Anyways, I will just have to make sure that I ask how much it costs before I get in.

When I got to the hospital, there were people (whom I later got to work with) at the door asking me in Spanish if I have an appointment, which doctor I need to see and !@#$%^&.. I was just supposed to go see a psychologist (I wasn’t informed about his name) so those people (I guess at the receptionist) wouldn’t let me pass by. I tried my best to explain in Spanish that I am supposed to see a psychologist of whom I don’t know the name and !@#$%^ my Spanish was very horrible. Hahaha. Those girls were probably like “what is she saying” lol.

Anyways, I think they took a pity on me (probably they saw the desperation in my facial expression) and let me pass by. The psychologist was very busy seeing his patients in a room, and when I went to see him he asked one of those girls at the door to take me on a tour, explaining how the hospital (in the division of psychiatry) is functioning.

Today, I basically stood with her at the door as a receptionist, greeting and talking to patients who come in. It was a bit frustrating because I couldn’t understand much of what she was saying. Also, because I didn’t have breakfast, i started to feel dizzy. But anyways, she was very kind enough to explain again and again whatever questions that I had and I was thankful. She is an intern at the hospital in the hope of becoming a psychologist. She is of my age so I was able to relate myself a lot to her. I asked her what motivated her to study psychology and she said she loves helping people (she wants to work with kids) and listening to problems that people have. I think some people when you look at them you just see such warmth in them. I felt such genuinely caring heart from her (by looking at the way she talks to the patients and also to me). Because she and I were the only ones at the door, we got to talk a lot and share our stories together. She was extremely patient with my disastrous Spanish hahaha It’s like I have to think first in my head and say. I learned today the new word “enamorado” meaning boyfriend, but in a different sense. “Enamorado” is someone you are dating and “novio” is someone you would like to engage. And then, of course “esposo”-husband. The topic of boys is always popular among girls and with this we talked a lot. She has a boyfriend and I don’t so I got to bombard her with all those qts J

I tried to walk as much as I can in Cuzco and I have to say .. I was being stared a lot. Well, I guess this is normal. I have been called “chinita! (Chinese!)” and “Arigato!” but no Korean. Haha. They think I am Japanese and try to talk to me in Japanese. Apparently, there are a lot of Japanese, not a lot, but quite a number of people either traveling in Cuzco or doing some business.

However, walking was very tiring. Not only the air was bad but also because I was in high altitude, I would be out of breath at times. But, It was fun walking and seeing the neighborhoods (and so many dogs on the streets!! They don’t come to you. They are just strolling around…) and talk to people at times when I needed help with direction.

When I finally reached home (it took me 35 minutes) I was exhausted. My head was throbbing and my whole body felt just so tired. But my host family prepared me with such delicious food ( I asked the name and I heard something “zapatos” and thought it couldn’t be coz it means shoes lol). I ate choclo (corn) with beets and tomatos and later rice with some sort of soupy thingy. They were so delicious and my headache immediately disappeared. Just kidding. But, I certainly felt much better. And of course I drank a lot of coca tea which helps clear my head. I also learned that in South America, people usually eat heavy lunch (between 1 and 4pm) and eat very light dinner after 8pm. I felt really full because I usually don’t eat this much for lunch. I thought I was done with corn untill she brought me with another plate of rice and also dessert.

My host family has hosted many students (and there will be other two German students coming this Sunday!) and she was telling me a story of a girl who was very skinny when she came but gained 6killo when she left and how her parents didn’t recognize her. Haha. Man, I hope I wouldn’t be like her. But, the food she prepares is just so yummy.

Oh, I love this family. Even though my Spanish is not very good, they always patiently hear me what I have to say even though sometimes I don’t make any sense.lol.

Once a month, the ambulence brings in mentally-ill people living on the street..

Two interns & a psychiatrist. The one in blue jacket helped me A LOT adjusting to the environmet @ the hospital.

5/21/2012

We all the new volunteers and those who are in the language program went out for dinner at a rather fancy restaurant located in vicinity of Las Plazas de Armas. Because the restaurants lining the Plaza de Armas are geared toward tourists the food is a bit overpriced. There I tried “torta de tres de leche” a delicious dessert for the first time! I have heard of this dessert before and I’ve always wanted to try it. It looks like tiramisu but personally I think torta de tres de leche tastes better :9

 One thing that is so cool about traveling is that you meet other travelers. I love the idea of leaving a place of comfort and setting out for somewhere new and meeting people who are different from you. Most of volunteers were Americans but those who came to learn Spanish were from all over the world (from Germany, Australia, Canada , England and etcetera). At a restaurant, I talked a lot with those sitting beside me and hear their stories. I really love hearing other people journeys. There was one who was a volunteer like me and he is going to volunteer at an elementary school, teaching English. I thought I was the youngest among the group but I was wrong. He and other volunteers, I found out, are going to be in their second year in college. I am glad that they set out for a journey at such young age. As there were people who are students like me, there were also those who were taking a break from their jobs to travel. I got to hear some stories from a German guy (Thomas) who is taking a language course. He has worked in E.U. ,working in a committee that overlooks NGOs in developing countries, making assessments of what they need, how they are progressing and whether they are providing the needs that the locals need.  I asked him what his major was in undergrad and he said social sciences and said he didn’t learn much. So, he felt needed to get masters in European studies and I guess he found passion there working for E.U.  I had a very great time with people sitting around me at the dinner. They were keep cracking jokes and I felt immediately comfortable with them. They also heard my stories and I felt like they were genuinely interested in hearing my stories.

It’s sad that we are staying in Cuzco only for a short time (we just got to know each other!) and we have to go on our own separate ways. We meet wonderful people along the way, and we may or may not see them again in our lives. But, who knows, whether our lives will cross again? 

The first day I get here, my host family asks me if I want to try guinea pig dish (cuy relleno). I didn’t expect this request to come so fast haha

But, I was extremely tired so I had to skip lunch to take some rest. But, next time when we have a family outing I will try. I heard this guinea pig dish is very famous in highlands in Peru.

Finally in Cuzco!!

The plane ride was rather long..
I flew from Chicago to Florida then to Lima. In Lima, i had to stay for about 10 hours in the airport for the next flight  because i got there at night and there are no domestic flights flying at night.
Anyways, i finally got to Cuzco on 5/20 @ 8a.m and i was soooooo excited that i forgot to find my lugguage (on a belt). I got out of the airport and met a person with the sign with my name on it and he took me to my host family's house. Sara Nunez, my beutiful host mom, greeted me with a hug and a warm kiss on my cheek. I immediately loved her and her house is so beautiful. She asked me where my luggages were and then i realized i forgot my luggage!! I had to take a taxi to the airport again to get my stuff. The person who escorted me was laughing because he said i forgot mine coz i was too excited to care about my luggage. haha i just laughed with him.

Because Cuzco is located in high altitude, it was pretty cold. It's like it's expected to snow or something...
I am not very fond of cold weather. It was also pretty cold in the room where i would sleep because they don't have the heater and i would also have to take a cold shower. Anyways, i had to remind myself that i am not here to travel but to really immerse myself in the culture and the reality of Peruvian lives. I know there are people out there who don't even have the luxuries to even have a home. So really, no need to complain. I tried to focus on the positive side. Once again, the family is AMAZING and i was so so thankful that i got to stay with such a wonderful family while i am here in Cuzco.

I went with my host family to La Plaza de Armas to watch a festival which is held every sunday and my host family's daugher, Catelena, marched in the uniform. I already feel like she is my sister, actually my older sister even though she is younger, coz she welcomes me into her home so warmheartedly. Sara wanted to take me on a tour but i was so tired that i told her that i needed some rest.

My volunteering project starts today 5/21 at 2pm. I heard from a previous volunteer that my project is going to be tough, but everything will be alright..=)

The day before leaving for Peru & Ecuador

I am leaving so soon for Peru and Ecuador. The weird thing is, i am not feeling any excitement yet even though i am leaving tomorrow. I guess i have been just busy packing, packing and packing. Packing is very stressful because i have to make sure a several times that i am not missing anything. Also, you want to just get it done quick so that you can hang out with your friends.

I will be in Peru for 4 weeks, from May 19th till June19th. and i will be in Ecuador from June 19th till Dec 23rd. I will be in Cuzco as a volunteer (thr.UBELONG) working with mentally-ill adults in a mental health clinic and what i will be doing, as i understand so far, is help a local psychologist there with whatever he or she needs. I didn't think that this will be a challenge until my mentor and my friends who have worked at a mental hospital told me. I know now that i have to not only physically but also mentally prepare for ... 'surprises'..i guess. I am very excited for staying with the host family there, because i think that's the best way to get to know the culture and language. I am also excited for traveling alone to places in Cuzco. There a lot of advantages traveling in groups (you are for sure safer) but i also think there's such value in going to places alone (for example, you learn to be more independent?). One of  my favorite authors in Korea was a backpack traveler and she inspired me in many ways to be step out of my comfort zone. I have to keep in mind constantly that

1. Be in the attitude of learning.
2. Be open-minded (don't judge!)
3. Relax, relax and relax. Just enjoy.

After 4 weeks of volunteering in Cuzco, i will fly to Lima and take a flight there to Quito, Ecuador. I will be there in Quito 2 months earlier before my student-exchange program starts in mid-August. I will be staying at my friend's house, a friend who was an exchange student in my freshman year. I remember talking to him about me visiting him in Ecuador after i get a job and have some money to visit, but here i am. Really, who knows where life will take us?

I am going to Ecuador to study abroad. He wasn't the reason to study abroad, of course, but certainly he and another good friend of mine, raised my interest in choosing Ecuador for studying Spanish. I think if it wasn't for them, i would have studied abroad somewhere else. Friends do make a difference. But, now that i think of it, i think Ecuador is a good place to study abroad because i have always wanted to go to developing countries and also if i were to learn Spanish, go to central or south american countries to learn the language. Anyways, i am very excited to see my friends because i miss them. 

The Power of Introverts

I was listening to the talk on TED by Susan Cain, the New York times best selling author, who wrote a book called "The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. As an introvert myself, I was able to relate myself a lot to her and be encouraged.
First, i was wondering why this book became the best seller, and i think the reason is according to the book, a third to a half of the population in the U.S. are introverts and i am sure they were eager to hear to pep-talk as much as i am. We live in a world that values extroverted people and that sees introverted people as a misfit to a society.

We used to value people of strong moral character in the past, such as Abraham Lincoln and Rosa Parks, but now we value those of extroverted and confident people. One driving force behind this cultural revolution was urbanization. I really think that America is getting more and more individualistic to the point that there is almost no communal life. Even in churches, people just come and go, without saying hi to the person next to them. We also barely know our neighbors because we are too busy caring about ourselves in this busy, competitive world. I am sad to say that i am also accommodating to the current U.S. culture.

I have lived in the U.S. for quite a while (almost 9 years) and i have to say it is still my struggle to accommodate myself to American values. However, today i reflect this view again after hearing Susan's talk whether this is necessary. And i believe that i don't have to, and i shouldn't. I don't have to feel guilty about being an introvert even though when there's a group project and presentation i get nervous and have a hard time speaking in front of others, but i can always focus on the things that i am good at and think positively. But, i think that this will be a constant fight. I prefer much spending time alone or with a few close friends to going to a party with loud music. I have heard many many times that i should go more often to social gatherings and mingle with people, but i'd rather do these things when i want to. I am remember also my friends who have expressed their stress for having to adjust to the Culture of Personality. One friend of mine expressed that she feels tired and somewhat angered because other people expect her to talk and think she is an extrovert when she is not. I totally understand her and i think people should just be themselves, no matter what other people say. This is going to be a challenge, but life will be totally wasted if we try to live up for other people's expectation.

But, i have to say though... that i love extroverted people. I think extroverted people are fun in general and they are great at making conversations. However, i think introverted people should be recognized for their strength as well. Rosa Park was probably a "nobody" in her childhood but she was strong in her moral character like no other and she was driven by her such inner strength to stand up for things that matter a  lot to her. She didn't care whether people recognized her deeds because all she cared was whether she was following her beliefs and her conscience was clear.

The power of word

I was talking to two of my friends after graduation and we had a great talk. I haven't talk to one of them for a long time because both she and i had different commitments throughout the semester. Anyways, she told me that she was happy for me that i was going to South America and that this is a good choice for me.I don't know why but this was a huge encouragement for me. Both my parents and my family in Chicago weren't very supportive of me or rather they weren't very happy for me. I try not to care and do what makes me happy (even though i might not have a clear idea of what i am doing) but anyways, knowing that there are friends who are happy for me in whatever i do means a lot to me. She also shared how when she shared her faith with her dad, he wasn't very happy for her. What made her more sad was the fact that she feels so loved by her dad but not very understood by him about her faith, which now means a lot to her. I was able to relate myself to her. She is a beautiful girl and i pray that her dad comes to a better understanding of her faith. 

Revisiting my relationship w/ God

As my christian life matures, i see the reality of my sin very clearly and how i should live.

Also, i am aware that i shouldn't take religion so seriously. I am sure God doesn't want this from us either. He wants us to be FREE!

I learned from the book of theories of psychotherapy that we should change how we view ourselves and that our actions shouldn't be dictated by rules of 'should' and 'shouldn'ts'. Healthy people acknowledge their limitations and move on with life. Mentally healthy people also know what they are good at and what they are not and are more positive thinkers (in fact, there is a positive correlation between mental health and optimism). I have a friend who is simple-minded and moves on quickly when bad things happen. I would observe my friend and i think a key to move on quickly is to not take life so seriously. I am thankful for this friend of mine because i learned a lot from her. I also try to find something funny each day and enjoy life with people i love.

I know that i am not very forgiving to myself, as much as i want to. I have always been people-pleaser and so i am very sensitive to people's remark about me and also what i say to them. Not sure if i can change this? I think this is one of my traits, so i don't complain it. God sometimes uses this trait to serve his people. However, when my focus is on something else, this trait of mine gives me a hard time. I am clearly aware that i cannot please everyone. This would be crazy: i will never know what i want in life.

I have been thinking if there's a way i can be more self-controlled. Control my emotions and thoughts. But, life is just crazy with full of surprises (both good and bad), and i know i need help outside of me. I need wise advice of my friends, mentor and my family members who care about me. But, most importantly, I need God the most in my life.

So i was thinking.... that i have been lacking spending time with God. We are relational. Not sure why i don't turn to God when i feel like i need someone. I usually turn to my friends- a few friends- whom i trust. Well, actually i am not a very expressive person so it is hard for me to share. Why is it so hard to turn to God? I was thinking today and i think i know why. I am a very quality type of person (my # 1 love language) and i am more than willing to spend a quality time with  my friends because i love them. I have been pushing God aside and would give him only a little bit of my time. I think the reason i turn to my friends when i feel like i need someone is because the quality of my friendship is high.  But i think the quality of my relationship with God is right now relatively low. What if i spend time with God each day and talk to him like a friend (well he actually says he is our friend)? What will happen in the long run? I turn to the Bible today... after a long time of not touching it. I want to put God first in my life. I want to talk to God first, because i know he is wise, kind, loving, compassionate and forgiving. I am just like a mist and really nothing but God sees the best in me.